He was there. Sitting in a corner. Mulling over the things that he has done for the past few days. Things are getting better, but the future does not seem to be more clearer than before. He only has an idea of what he must be doing, but the specifics of the future he is about to step into is not clear.
He is in the most unusual place. Something that he has not imagined. His plans after he went out of that portal never came into reality. His ventures were always frustrated by circumstances. The plans he had for himself never came into reality. Every plan A and plan B were changed. The intended route he made for himself never came into being.
Everything was different. Way different.
However, peace is in his heart. He knew that the one who frustrated his plans and the one who brought him in the place where he is right now is far more intelligent, greater, and more powerful than him.
After that, he stood. He composed himself. Took his stuff. It seems like he is about to take on a long journey.
These people with me are the volunteer sound techs of the church for the different services. We ensure that every sound that should be heard is heard, and every noise that should not be there is not there. :D
I wrote this while I was having my QT and the internet at Ella was down.
I have to remind myself that his compassion never fails, and because of his love, I am not consumed by these problems and blunders that I see in front of me.
I won’t back down just because there is no water streaming out of the faucet to use for taking a bath, and other tasks that I always took for granted before. I won’t back down just because it is hard to do things because internet, phone signal, and power supply are not readily available.
I will enter his gates with thanksgiving because there are still a lot of things to be thankful about. That I still have a roof above my head, I have money to use for some perks like internet and other things at Cafe Ella to make this life a little more comfortable, I have friends, my parents are safe after the storm and we have no belongings that got caught in the chaos caused by the storm.
I know that my birthday tomorrow will never be just the same birthday. I asked for power and water supply for my birthday. I don’t know if that will be fulfilled. Whatever happens, I’ll rest on the truth that my Abba is in control, and he loves me, and he knows what’s best for me.
I am sure that he is there. By faith, he is there.
He is working in my midst.
"Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations"- Psalm 100:4-5
"Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."- Lamentations 3:22-23
“Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God.” - Romans 13:1
There was a season in my life where I have to choose between my feelings and the call that God has given me in the workplace. This happened during my first year of appointment in my former job.
You see, people working together do not always have their ideas complement with one another. Sometimes, if not most of the time, they contradict. There are ideas that are better than others and there are those that are just good.
I perceive my ideas to be somehow sound and “better”.
Moments where I no longer agree with the tasks that were given to me came. I have perceived that some of the tasks were futile, and I had a better idea in mind.
Problem is, I am not in charge. An authority is above me. It was she who asked me to do things and perform tasks which I do not agree with. The tasks given to me were not causing me to sin. I just can’t do it because I had better things in mind.
However, a lot of people reminded me that I am called to submit to authorities as long as these tasks do not encourage sin. I was also reading John Bevere’s Under Cover that time. So there. God called me to submit to my authority.
At first, i was reluctant (for I am just human). I wanted to fight for my thoughts and sell the ideas that I have. However, I prayed to God to just give me the heart to submit.
After that, I raised my white flag. I surrendered.
It was difficult, and it was painful. I am so glad that God is gracious, and that he loves me so much. His love and his grace enabled me to submit.
I am glad I did. At the end of the day, my idea and my feelings are not the ones that are important. It is still Jesus.
It’s not about you being good for you to be loved by me. I will just always love you, even if your bad. I already had shown it. You never knew me before, and even did the most heinous crimes in my eyes, but I already paid it. I already died for you.
You think you are bad and beyond repair? No, you are not beyond repair, BUT YOU ARE BAD.. But hey, good or bad, I love you. My love is received for free, and not being worked for.
And my love for you is something that grows and overflows.
The days get more difficult. My patience is about to reach the end of its limits. I have been very much stressed out inside because of the fact that I still don’t have my salary since January.
I find it hard.
My insides want to burst.
I just want to stop.
Spend time with my books.
If you knew me two years ago, I am sure that you know that I am a man who’s dreaming to become one of the teachers of this nation. You can see this post and this other post.
As I see it today, God has completely changed the path that I am taking. I am already moving towards medschool, and not towards teaching.
In my past blogs, I’ve mentioned that I am not quite sure why my plans are not being fulfilled. I’ve also mentioned there that whatever happens, I know that my God has better plans for me.
Truly, I deviated from the path I planned for myself.
I am entering medschool.
May had really been eventful for me.
I went to Cebu City for the Philippine Society for Microbiology. Inc Annual Convention, then went to Caliraya for the SYNC: South Luzon Leaders’ Camp.
I also landed another job just to make ends meet because I still don’t have a salary in my “real” job (which is, almost 6 months already).
Life is hard, but it is still exciting.
I just see God doing things in all of these.
Time for introspection and writing this season is limited.
I hope you guys are doing fine. :D
Another set of books to be added on my bookpile.
Got these at a low price.
I hope I can read them before I enter medschool.
I have been in the lookout for thought-provoking posts. The last time I had deep introspection about matters had been months ago.
I’ve been busy with a lot of things outside the apartment, and the set-up where I sleep do not favor such endeavors.
It’s great that Holy week came, many people are on their homes right now, and I am enjoying the solitude, quietness and idleness brought by it.
This is a good physical and social rest as well.
So, hello there, do you want to talk about things?