I wrote this while I was having my QT and the internet at Ella was down.
I have to remind myself that his compassion never fails, and because of his love, I am not consumed by these problems and blunders that I see in front of me.
I won’t back down just because there is no water streaming out of the faucet to use for taking a bath, and other tasks that I always took for granted before. I won’t back down just because it is hard to do things because internet, phone signal, and power supply are not readily available.
I will enter his gates with thanksgiving because there are still a lot of things to be thankful about. That I still have a roof above my head, I have money to use for some perks like internet and other things at Cafe Ella to make this life a little more comfortable, I have friends, my parents are safe after the storm and we have no belongings that got caught in the chaos caused by the storm.
I know that my birthday tomorrow will never be just the same birthday. I asked for power and water supply for my birthday. I don’t know if that will be fulfilled. Whatever happens, I’ll rest on the truth that my Abba is in control, and he loves me, and he knows what’s best for me.
I am sure that he is there. By faith, he is there.
He is working in my midst.
"Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations"- Psalm 100:4-5
"Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."- Lamentations 3:22-23
“Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God.” - Romans 13:1
There was a season in my life where I have to choose between my feelings and the call that God has given me in the workplace. This happened during my first year of appointment in my former job.
You see, people working together do not always have their ideas complement with one another. Sometimes, if not most of the time, they contradict. There are ideas that are better than others and there are those that are just good.
I perceive my ideas to be somehow sound and “better”.
Moments where I no longer agree with the tasks that were given to me came. I have perceived that some of the tasks were futile, and I had a better idea in mind.
Problem is, I am not in charge. An authority is above me. It was she who asked me to do things and perform tasks which I do not agree with. The tasks given to me were not causing me to sin. I just can’t do it because I had better things in mind.
However, a lot of people reminded me that I am called to submit to authorities as long as these tasks do not encourage sin. I was also reading John Bevere’s Under Cover that time. So there. God called me to submit to my authority.
At first, i was reluctant (for I am just human). I wanted to fight for my thoughts and sell the ideas that I have. However, I prayed to God to just give me the heart to submit.
After that, I raised my white flag. I surrendered.
It was difficult, and it was painful. I am so glad that God is gracious, and that he loves me so much. His love and his grace enabled me to submit.
I am glad I did. At the end of the day, my idea and my feelings are not the ones that are important. It is still Jesus.
It’s not about you being good for you to be loved by me. I will just always love you, even if your bad. I already had shown it. You never knew me before, and even did the most heinous crimes in my eyes, but I already paid it. I already died for you.
You think you are bad and beyond repair? No, you are not beyond repair, BUT YOU ARE BAD.. But hey, good or bad, I love you. My love is received for free, and not being worked for.
And my love for you is something that grows and overflows.
The days get more difficult. My patience is about to reach the end of its limits. I have been very much stressed out inside because of the fact that I still don’t have my salary since January.
I find it hard.
My insides want to burst.
I just want to stop.
Spend time with my books.
If you knew me two years ago, I am sure that you know that I am a man who’s dreaming to become one of the teachers of this nation. You can see this post and this other post.
As I see it today, God has completely changed the path that I am taking. I am already moving towards medschool, and not towards teaching.
In my past blogs, I’ve mentioned that I am not quite sure why my plans are not being fulfilled. I’ve also mentioned there that whatever happens, I know that my God has better plans for me.
Truly, I deviated from the path I planned for myself.
I am entering medschool.
May had really been eventful for me.
I went to Cebu City for the Philippine Society for Microbiology. Inc Annual Convention, then went to Caliraya for the SYNC: South Luzon Leaders’ Camp.
I also landed another job just to make ends meet because I still don’t have a salary in my “real” job (which is, almost 6 months already).
Life is hard, but it is still exciting.
I just see God doing things in all of these.
Time for introspection and writing this season is limited.
I hope you guys are doing fine. :D
Another set of books to be added on my bookpile.
Got these at a low price.
I hope I can read them before I enter medschool.
I have been in the lookout for thought-provoking posts. The last time I had deep introspection about matters had been months ago.
I’ve been busy with a lot of things outside the apartment, and the set-up where I sleep do not favor such endeavors.
It’s great that Holy week came, many people are on their homes right now, and I am enjoying the solitude, quietness and idleness brought by it.
This is a good physical and social rest as well.
So, hello there, do you want to talk about things?
I noticed a while ago, while having some good time playing some songs with easy chords, that if I am to level up this guitar playing I need to do the difficult things I never wanted to do (in this case, learn to do bar chords).
I realized as well that this is a reality in the other aspects of our life. There are things that you need to do no matter how hard it is from the start because it will bring a major level up to a particular skill/knowledge/technique.
Just like when we were taught to write when we were still kids. It was hard and really painful and tiring to write a lot of As and Bs at first until it became easy as time passed by.
Do you remember the time when you also wanted to learn to play a musical instrument just like a friend/relative whom you saw playing? What did you do with that desire? Did you get yourself a guitar and practiced playing or did you just gave up because it was hard and you thought you cannot reach a certain level of playing?
Friends, every good person at a particular area started just like almost everyone else. Maybe there were gifted ones, but practicing and being good at a particular skill is not limited to those gifted people only.
In any skill, starting to learn it is difficult. Much more in continuing to hone it. And remember, there will be pain and discomfort as you try to level up. But I hope you won’t give up just because there is that momentary discomfort.
I am very much happy right now, despite the fact that I am in financial lack, because I get to do the things that I want to do. I get to learn more about the volunteer ministry that I am in. I am a Sound Tech, by the way.
When I was starting in this, I never thought that I will reach a point where I would love doing it, and I’ll strive to learn more about it. I thank the Lord for the passion he has given me, and the grace that has sustained me and enabled me to do these things out of love.
I am able to do this not because I am good, and I am just interested in it. I am able to do this because the love of Christ enables me to do so. It enables me to give my best, in the hopes that I might be of help in reaching out more people and leading them to Christ by providing good quality sounds.
After all, he deserves the best. And another thing is that, “faith comes by hearing” (Romans 10:17)- i’ve heard this verse used in a PreSonus conference video. Hehe. :)